The Weather is Changing…. Again

So I have suffered from severe anxiety for the last two years.  Never had an issue before, never had a panic attack or anxiety attack before but then all of a sudden its like being hit by a moving car and bam! You are suffering exponentially.  The last year has been awesome for my family, my youngest brother Andrew got engaged to his sweetheart Kierstan, and then my brother Bryan got his girl pregnant and proposed to her this weekend and I am over here like wow, my marriage fell apart 2 1/2 years ago and I am struggling to get along with my boyfriend on a regular basis.  Seems like a lot of my “bestest friends” are only friends with me with conditions and lately I have been more lonely than ever before.  This year has been tough.  I have struggled to keep my company going, working a lot and barely making enough, I have had fake ass people surrounding me, which have chosen to take themselves to the trash (Thank you), and of course the anxiety has been horrid.  In addition to the growing pile of shit year that I have had, I am working on a website now that I have put a lot of work into and the guy suddenly decides he wants more.  FUCK YOU!!! I just need a vacation to a place where I can’t be bothered by people or clients or anything.  I am over worked, over tired and over anxious.  I wish my boyfriend was more understanding of my feelings, but men aren’t much for caring about your feelings they are just blah.  (Again I need a vacation).

I know I have lost some so-called friends over the past two months, but really I have a lot of friends, I just never see them.  I never have time to go anywhere between work and my son and my boyfriend.  I need to make time to go places and do things.  I feel like I am becoming a recluse.  Anyways VENT OVER.  Sorry about that but I had to get it out.  I feel like I am going to unravel if I keep it in any longer.


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