Tough Day: Holding my Eyes Open with my Fingers

So here’s the deal…. We got a new Sleep-Comfort bed (well in the spirit of full disclosure, it was new to us but wasn’t brand new since we swapped beds with my brother because he wanted a smaller bed and he had a king and we had a queen). Anyways, you fill it with air until it is comfortable and just the way you like it. Well, bright and early this morning, my whole side of the bed was completely deflated (by 4:45AM) and since the thing to fill it is so loud, and my boy friend was sleeping next to me, I didn’t want to wake him up, so long story short, I have been up ever since. After 2 cups Cafe Bistro, a cup of Folgers and a pumpkin spiced latte from the gas station and I am still ready to go to bed. I am forcing myself to stay awake…..    

So this is how my day has gone.  After waking up on what felt like a piece of ply wood, I decided to get to work on some of the websites I need to finish, and the curriculum for my new classes and webinars (if your interested the link is  So I figured I would take a nap at some point today just because I literally went to bed at around 1AM and woke up to my flat, hard as a rock  bed at 4:45AM, but no……Here’s what actually happened.  

But first here are the boys sleeping soundly:


Bash Passed out on mine and Tylers bed

Buckle up your seatbelt…. Here comes the ride from Hell

I seriously had one of the most stressful months I have ever had in a long time and today was like just straight chaos. On top of all that was going on, I have to vent about some serious stuff, but I will do that after I tell you about today.  Here we go……

First, the water guy shows up at around 6:45SM.  We have to move our tank from the old house to our new house, which was a fiasco.  Then we have to have him drill all the way from our pantry to our sink.  I let him go to work and I go back to doing my own work.  Ten maybe twenty minutes later, “Nicole, there is a slight issue with the water pressure.”  I have no idea what is going on nor do I speak water, so I kindly ask what we can do to fix this issue.  “Well I don’t know if I have the tools with me to fix it, but I will try.”  Well water guy fixes the pressure (YAY) but then the dishwasher overflows and floods the kitchen (NO). A couple of towels later and we have a clean kitchen.  Plus I guess my grandmother was the one who started the dishwasher, so that could be the reason for the flood since she just presses any button and walks away.  Anyways the water fiasco ended with a signature on a piece of paper, and Tyler and Delmar (Tyler’s dad who came to live with us and he is the best damn guy I know) cleaned up the water flood situation.  

I go back to work.  Tired, coffee number two brewing, and in comes pest control guy.  Well, allow me to explain the situation.  About a week ago we moved from one house to another on the same property.  We used to live in a tiny, maybe 900 square foot cottage in the back of the property.  We had neighbors who literally had SEVEN (7) Kids.  They were evicted for not paying for several months, and HALILUJIA to that because they were the worst neighbors.  They had a pit bull that they weren’t even supposed to have that would come over to our side of the property and basically scratch the back door or the screen, they had around 25 chickens and at one point 3 very loud and obnoxious Roosters (Who cockadoodled all day), then there was the pig.  Before I get into the pest control guy, let me just tell you about the pig, whose name was Bacon.  

When Bacon was little, he/she (let’s just go with it) would nibble on your toes and it was no bigger than a yorkie. I didn’t mind it but I figured it would grow out of that habit.  NOPE! Never stopped doing that, but apparently, according to the neighbors from hell, I was the only one Bacon would nibble on.  Well, moving on, this pig would Rome the property and basically come running at you like a P38 whenever you would get out of your car.  When it was little, I didn’t care, but then it got kind of big (like the size of a pit bull).  During the whole pig ordeal, I was pregnant with my little boy.  

Eventually, “Bacon” the evil shit brained pig, started getting aggressive.  By aggressive, I mean this pig would run up behind you and slam into you and sometimes even bite you.  The “Pig” was actually a rapidly growing “HOG”.  If you have never seen a wild hog, Google it.  They are very aggressive and nasty little fuckers! A hog can tear you up and this growing hog was starting to get bigger and bigger and basically roamed free around the shared property.  Look, I am a nice and patient person and I tried being friendly with these people, but they literally allowed so much chaos on the property, that I finally started being blunt about my feelings.  Number one, Bacon needs to be penned as it is getting to be too aggressive, number two keep your dog in your fenced in yard, number three why are your pet bunnies running around on my side of the property? I mean is it so hard for you to buy them a cage that will keep them safe and on your side (yes we fed them and made sure they didn’t get picked up by a hawk or eagle) and number four get rid of the Roosters that are cockadoodle-dooing all MOTHER FUCKING day.  We have no animals, we were always quiet and we never did anything to make them uncomfortable and unhappy, but we had a slew of issues with them and the animals they neglected.  

When I was about 8 months pregnant, I was getting out of my car and I was bent over grabbing my purse and my things out of the car.  As I was bent over, Bacon came up from my behind me, slammed into me so hard I slammed my head on the middle console of the car and then it bite me.  The bruise I had on my leg was no joke about 12 inches long by 4 inches wide.  I tried to kick the pig away and I screamed for Tyler who came running out.  He grabbed the bat and started hitting the pig repeatedly trying get the pig to stop.  But it wouldn’t.  Eventually it got to the point where we had to carry a bat out with us whenever we would go to the car or come out of the car.  One day, Tyler walked outside to the sounds of my oldest son screaming for help to find the pig repeatedly slamming into him.  Tyler again took out the bat and tried to stop it.  Bash was terrified to leave the house unless Tyler and the bat were with him.  I had finally had enough and called the landlords (my parents).  My mom said that it wasn’t her problem and I needed to deal with it with them.  Finally one day she came over with the tree guy and Bacon attacked not only her, but the tree guy.  That was the end of Bacon. They were to either pen the hog or get rid of it, but if it was out roaming free again, they were out.  I guess the pig had a heart attack and died and I have no details on the situation other than that. 

Anyways, that was a long detour back to the pest control guy and his arrival today, but there is a reason I told you about the people who lived here, because as soon as we moved in to the house they once lived in, GERMAN COCKEROACHES are literally everywhere.  By everywhere, I mean they are living inside the oven, inside the circuit boards of the oven, microwave, and dishwasher and they are everywhere.  At first I thought it was nothing too bad, but it is so bad that we have to leave the house for two days, after moving all the appliances to the curb and bleaching the whole kitchen.  And we have to stay at a hotel while all this is being done because it is not safe to stay here while they destroy the infestation.  I don’t know what grosses me out more, the fact that there are cockroaches everywhere, or that these people lived with them and did nothing about it.  

Pest control guy basically said it would cost a minimum of $350 to get rid of them and my mom said too much.  Sometimes, I wish my mom had to live with them, because I guarantee that if this was her place of residence, she wouldn’t care how much to get rid of them.  We finally called the guy who she recommended and he came by and said we need to leave the house till the potentially lethal (to the baby only) chemicals were cleared out of the house.  So now we have a reservation at the Marriott in Jensen Beach for the 2 days it will take to remove the roaches, and best part (it cost me $200 total for both nights thanks to an advertisement that wasn’t supposed to be online by Marriott and they honored it).  So I guess the good that came out of this whole ordeal is that now, we get to have a little stay-cation on the beach in a fabulous hotel. 

Next, I had to literally run after the mail lady, because I completely forgot to tell her we moved into the new house.  That was so much fun and I got tore up by red ants, just for a tiny package. UGH!!! Most awful thing about living in Florida is the red ants and then there’s the ridiculously hot days that make you wish you lived in Alaska.  

So while all this craziness was happening, I was also trying to build a website for a client and launch another website for another client and answer questions for my coworkers.  Today made me realize that on the nights you get no sleep, you will have the craziest day to follow.  This day was nuts.  I mean hardcore, fucked in the ass, crazy shitty day. So glad it is almost night time and so glad my baby goes to bed at 8, because I am joining him in that bedtime tonight. 

After all that craziness, I went back to work and found my boys sleeping peacefully.  I was wishing I could do the same but that’s when I met coffee number three so I can get through the rest of the day and go to bed early.   I am super grateful that the people that were here are no longer here and I am thoroughly enjoying the quiet, the lack of crazy animals (especially Beacon and the cockadoodlers) and I am ready to have a stay-cation while pest control guy gets rid of the nastiness that these disgusting people left behind.  I truly feel bad for the new landlords and I hope that they learn to be more neighborly.  Oh and the last text message I got from her was, “Maybe one day you will learn to be nicer to people” even though I commented back that I am nice to everyone (Which is true), I really wanted to say that “Maybe one day you will learn to not be a terrible neighbor and a bitch to someone who has put up with more shit then they should have.  Bye bye to the Freeloaders and the chaos they bought with them.  I am so thankful to be living in a much bigger place.


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