The Basics: A Quick Summary About me
My name is Nicole and I am a self employed student with a passion for writing. I started this blog to share my journey because I have never been the type of person to hide from my reality. I may not like what happens in my life, but I feel like if I share my experience, it might somehow save someone from making the same mistakes.
I was born in North Shore University Hospital in Mahassett New York to Laureen and Ron, and lived in New York until I was about 12. My parents decided New York was too expensive and we needed to live in Florida so we could have the life they always wanted for us kids. Unfortunately, I was too young to argue, as much as I tried to, so we inevitably ended up in Florida.
Maybe it was the people or the atmosphere, but Florida taught me a lot about life. I am sure it had a lot to do with the fact that I was very young in New York and I wasn’t getting into trouble because I wasn’t really old enough, but in Florida I became a heathen! I drove my parents crazy by skipping school, fist fights and verbal altercations, disrespecting my teachers and peers, and eventually ending up in an Alternative school for being so completely and totally out of control. The only thing they didn’t have to worry about was drugs, because I didn’t dabble into drugs. Looking back on it now, I was a raging hormonal mess and I could have had it all if I would have just listened. Though I worked hard at causing trouble I did eventually graduate and go to college.
I did very well in college, and received my Associates Degree. I am very close to earning my Bachelors, but I hope to at least finish my Bachelors in the next year, and continue on to my Masters because I absolutely love to learn.
My family is huge and we are all very connected to one another. I am one of five children and my parents have been together since they were 15 and 16 years old. The oldest of their children is Ronnie. He is a funny comedian who loves to joke around and generally makes everyone around him laugh. He is sort of disabled because as we were growing up he had walking braces and had learning disabilities, so he was considered disabled, however you wouldn’t even know he was handicap if you met him. The next child was me, Nicole or Niki Maria. I was daddy’s little princess and mommy’s favorite dress up doll. I was the shining star that could do no wrong with my blond hair and green eyes. Then came Bryan, the middle child. He was mommy’s hip hugger because he literally wouldn’t let her do anything without him being right there. It drove Ronnie and I crazy, especially when mom would go out, because he would cry until she got home, or would fall asleep from crying in front of the door to make sure he was the first one she saw. Andrew and Karissa came last. They were the fairest children and a lot younger than Ronnie, Bryan and I.
Andrew is a smart and straight forward person. He could ace any test with no sweat. Andrew has a wicked temper though, almost like a snake, if you push him, he will push back and he will pull out the fangs if need be. Karissa is the baby. She was born on Christmas and she is a natural red head. Her and I had a lot of ups and downs as we grew up and as of recently we have gotten very close. I realized that she is my only sister and her and I need to stick together. She is extremely smart and beautiful and I am so grateful to have her as a sister.
My mom is a genius, she studied law and education comes natural to her. She is one of those people that can literally do anything with ease even if hundreds of people are struggling to do it. My mom and I haven’t always gotten along, in fact we could barely tolerate each other as I was growing up. Until I had my son, we were always at odds, but now we get along somewhat. Its not perfect but what mother daughter relationship is?
Family was a huge part of my childhood. We spent a lot of time with our cousins, aunts and uncles and made it a point to always stay in contact. We didn’t always get along, in fact almost every time we all get together, something happens and someone is pissed, upset, annoyed, etc. Even though its not perfect, I wouldn’t change them all for the world. They are all perfect to me in their own way.
Love Life: Messy and Dysfunctional!
When I turned 18, I met a man named Kevin, who I thought was a complete nerd but either way I liked him. He was sweet and patient with me, and he made me feel so comfortable. He and I dated for 2 years before he popped the questions and spent 1 year being engaged and having some fun. We pretty much always got along in the beginning and we spent a lot of time together. He was my best friend, the first guy to ever make me feel comfortable enough to be myself. Kevin and I always had a strong bond because we took the time to communicate with one another. We started our relationship on May 20, 2005 and on October 28th 2008, our son Sebastian Wayne was born. Sebastian is our whole world and the result of our mutual love for one another.
Sebastian, or as we call him Bash, is such a perfect little boy. He is sweet, lovable, smart and handsome. I would never want to know a day without him ever again. Sebastian is everything and some to both Kevin and I. Soon after Bash was born, Kevin and I started having issues. We got married at the court house on a cold Florida day December 12th 2008 and never had the time or resources to have a nice, big beautiful wedding, which is what I really wanted. Soon after the excitement of marriage and baby went away, Kevin and I drifted apart a lot. This is when I opened my company More To Know Services. He supported my company and rooted me on, however he never attended any meetings or galas or anything that had to do with my company. For the most part we just kept drifting away from one another until it got so bad that we started arguing. It got to the point where we just couldn’t talk at all anymore.
In August 2012, I decided to go my separate way and left for Texas for a few weeks to clear my head. I was never good at facing the music, so running away to Texas seemed like the best option. It was over after I left, because I met someone in Texas and I wanted to go for it, so of course I broke Kevin’s heart bad. I have spent the last year hating myself for breaking his heart and wishing I would have done things differently but it is what it is and you can’t rewrite reality. The absolute worst part is that the guy I met in Texas I actually fell completely in love with and Kevin was no longer on my mind at all.
This is where my love life took a sharp turn. The guy in Texas, named Anthony, become a huge part of my life. We had an instant chemistry and fell madly in love much faster than I was comfortable with, but when you know you know. We moved in together in Texas, even though it was a horrible thing to do to my soon to be ex husband, but I was not really in my right mind. I just knew I didn’t want to be alone and so Anthony was there and I was intrigued by him and wanted to try.
The move was brutal and I didn’t stay in Texas long. I was there for three months then I took off back to Florida where I could see my son and my family all the time. I got offered incredible opportunities in Texas that I had to turn down because of my responsibilities to my son. Plus, being away from Bash was like trying to live without breathing, it was nearly impossible.
Anthony and I moved to Florida for a while, then took off to Atmore Alabama for one month then came back to Florida again. I guess I needed to get all that out of my system but now I know where I belong and I am going to make sure I stick around rather than to try another place.
Anthony and I broke up at the beginning of July 2013 and I have been heart broken since. I opened my heart completely to this man and all he did was stomp on it. I guess it was meant to be because now I am writing this Blog and working on my first novel.
I am now in a relationship with Tyler and he is great most of the time. He is my best friend and I have known him since the 6th grade when I moved here from New York. So far it seems to be going well but only time will tell (and my blog).
Take the time to read my blog if you want, because I am literally pouring my heart out and sharing my most intimate pieces. I have poetry and short stories I have been writing since I was 9 years old.